Sex and The City... by Samantha Jones

Samantha: I think I have monogamy. I must have caught it from you people.

Samantha: Men cheat for the same reason dogs lick their balls: because they can.

Samantha: Listen, when you're on location, don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Smith: What's that rule out?
Samantha: Mmmm, there are things. Karaoke, I don't do that.

Samantha: I'm so sick of these people with their children. I'm telling you, they're everywhere! Sitting next to me in first class, eating at the next table at John Schu— [A child runs by.] Look at that. This place is for double cappuccinos, NOT double strollers. [Glances at Miranda.] I'm sorry.

Samantha (answering the phone): Well, it's about fucking time! Come over here and do me!
Carrie: Is that your standard greeting now?

Samantha: I don't believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties.

Samantha: The only place you can control a man is in bed. If we perpetually gave men blow jobs we could run the world!
Carrie: And at least our hands would be free to greet dignitaries and stuff.

Samantha: Normal is the halfway point between what you want and what you can get.

Miranda: Samantha, I have to say, you are amazing.
Samantha: I am. And if you love me in chemo, wait till you see me at Smith's movie premiere. I'm getting a hot dress, fantastic shoes... I'm going to kick cancer andthat red carpet's ass!

Samantha: Oh please! There's always a contest with an ex. It's called "who will die miserable."