domingo, 29 de abril de 2007

Sex and The City... by Samantha Jones

Samantha: I think I have monogamy. I must have caught it from you people.

Samantha: Men cheat for the same reason dogs lick their balls: because they can.

Samantha: Listen, when you're on location, don't do anything I wouldn't do.
Smith: What's that rule out?
Samantha: Mmmm, there are things. Karaoke, I don't do that.

Samantha: I'm so sick of these people with their children. I'm telling you, they're everywhere! Sitting next to me in first class, eating at the next table at John Schu— [A child runs by.] Look at that. This place is for double cappuccinos, NOT double strollers. [Glances at Miranda.] I'm sorry.

Samantha (answering the phone): Well, it's about fucking time! Come over here and do me!
Carrie: Is that your standard greeting now?

Samantha: I don't believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties.

Samantha: The only place you can control a man is in bed. If we perpetually gave men blow jobs we could run the world!
Carrie: And at least our hands would be free to greet dignitaries and stuff.

Samantha: Normal is the halfway point between what you want and what you can get.

Miranda: Samantha, I have to say, you are amazing.
Samantha: I am. And if you love me in chemo, wait till you see me at Smith's movie premiere. I'm getting a hot dress, fantastic shoes... I'm going to kick cancer andthat red carpet's ass!

Samantha: Oh please! There's always a contest with an ex. It's called "who will die miserable."

Sex and The City... by Carrie Bradshaw

A unique, controversial and overwhelming show... a unique, controversial and overwhelming fan had to quote it because of the impossibility of writing something remotely as good as they did.

Guy: This floor is non-smoking!
Carrie: I have an addiction sir!

Carrie: Despite the fact that there are over eight million people on the island of Manhattan, there are times you still feel shipwrecked and alone. Times even the most resourceful survivor would feel the need to put a message in a bottle, or on an answering machine.

Carrie: That's the thing about needs. Sometimes when you get them met, you don't need them anymore.

Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting,
challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

Carrie: Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away.

Carrie: Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they're supposed to run wild until they find someone -- just as wild -- to run with.

Carrie: Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back. Maybe, you have to let go of who you are to become who you will be.

Carrie: You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net. When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

Carrie: I admit it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss, the perfect parent, or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we've got.

Carrie: I will not be the first one to speak. And if he never calls me again, I'll always think of him fondly. As an asshole.

viernes, 27 de abril de 2007

Lección 2

f. Alternación de las cosas por turno u orden sucesivo.
f. Tiempo u ocasión determinada en que se ejecuta una acción, aunque no incluya orden sucesivo.

Conjugación en presente del verbo "ver". 2ª persona del singular.

Mentiras Descaradas

Etapa 1: Negación
- Estás loca? Yo ayer no estaba rascada.
- Jajajaja. Mira idiota, estabas tan rascada que te le declaraste a mi papá.
- Ay, de qué hablas? No estaba tan mal así. Estaba prendidita, lo hice porque era parte de la joda.
- ¿El beso que le trataste de dar era parte de la joda también?

Etapa 2: Reconocimiento del Problema o Aceptación
- Jajajajaja, coño de tu madre, no mereces la vida después de lo que hiciste anoche.
- Coño, ni me lo recuerdes. Pero en mi defensa, tengo que reconocer que el Sr. Johnnie tiene más poder sobre mí a veces. Y lo que me importa es naaaada!

Etapa 3: Se voltea la tortilla.

- Huevon, cuán rascado estabas tú ayer? Por qué hiciste esoooo?
- (después de meditar 1.5 milésimas de segundo) Marico, estaba demasiado mal. En el dolor.

(Lo que el amigo no sabe es que estabas perfectamente sobri@, pero no tienes los pantalones para decirle al mundo que sencillamente tu criterio es MALO. Incluso cuando estás sobri@).

Como si el alcohol no hubiera sido fiel contigo cuando lo necesitabas.
Como si el alcohol te hubiera dejado morir alguna vez.
Como si el alcohol no te hiciera sentir mejor al consumirlo.
Como si el alcohol tuviera la culpa que yo sea una taradita de vez en cuando.

miércoles, 25 de abril de 2007

Lección 1

"La 2ª persona singular del pretérito perfecto nunca lleva S".

Ej. Correcto: tú fuiste. Tú viniste. Tú llegaste.


Kiss me. One last time. Please, I know it’s been a while, but please kiss me. One last time. Just so I don’t have to live with the fact that I can’t remember when our last kiss was. Maybe if I had known it was going to be our last kiss I would have made the most out of it. I would have remembered in that very moment that, in the beginning, you didn’t know how to move you tongue in my mouth, and how you eventually learned how to do it properly. If only I had been paying attention I could remember your teeth biting softly and your hands covering my face. The smell of your hair and the fact that it was always long enough to be sexy but short enough to be manly, would have been with me for the rest of my life. Was it snowing? I can’t remember. Was it raining? I really can’t tell. Was it a goodbye kiss? Was I sober? Were you sober? Would you have done it if we weren’t? Was I so certain that we would kiss again that I may have ruined it? Were you concentrating? Were your heart and your mind and soul in it? Or was it just a little “see you later” kiss? Did I smell like I just had smoked 2 packs of cigarettes?--Which, coincidentally, I probably had--, and did you by any chance got used to that smell and didn’t find so disgusting? And, for some reason, after telling you all these things, I don´t really care so much if you want to kiss me or rather miss me… or neither one.

Perfect Sentences

-Can I offer you a ciggie?
-(silently screaming Yeeeeees) I don't really smoke that much, but yes, that would be nice.

-I want you back.
-I don't.

-I'm sooo sorry for everything.

-Hey! Did you loose some weight?

-You got the part. Shooting starts next week. Get your ass to New York NOW!

-King Kong is probably the worst movie I've seen in 20 years.
-Nop, not true... you didn't see it.

-Members Only.

-Free Whisky/Rum.

-This right here, this thing between you and me, is over because I'm just not that into you anymore.

-Good morning, I already made you a fresh glass of Nestea and slipped some Oreos in your purse.

-Welcome to La Guaira.

-I'm driving tonight.

-And yes, I'm paying for dinner. And don't let your macho ego get in the way.

martes, 24 de abril de 2007

They Don't Call It 'Fall' For Nothing

You trip... hence, you FALL in love.
I mean, shouldn´t people be carrying signs that read "Wet Floor" or "Slippery"? Or CUIDADO MARICA QUE TE VAS A VOLVER MIERDA!?

That´s a useful law we could introduce in congress. Or National Assembly. Or parliament. Then, (obviously, because some of us are blind) manipulate it and sue the fuckers.

domingo, 22 de abril de 2007

Grey´s Pizarra Vol. 1

Dr. Meredith Grey: At some point, you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out. They fence you in. Life is messy. That's how we're made. So, you can waste your lives drawing lines. Or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines... that are way too dangerous to cross.

Dr. Meredith Grey: You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

Dr. Meredith Grey: At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you , and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

Dr. Meredith Grey: A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.

Dr. Meredith Grey: Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

Dr. Meredith Grey: Intimacy is a four syllable word for, "Here's my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." It's both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without. Intimacy also comes attached to the three R's... relatives, romance, and roommates. There are some things you can't escape. And other things you just don't want to know.

Dr. Meredith Grey: I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of guide to tell you when you've crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming, and I don't know how you fit it on a map. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.

Dr. Alex Karev: (to Meredith) When your life is sucky you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate men. It's your thing.

Mr. Levangie: I know it's not perfect, but it's life. Life is messy sometimes.

Dr. Meredith Grey: I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope...

Grey´s Diagnosis

Which Character Are You Most Like?

Your job is your life, and you are extremely good at what you do, but don´t forget there´s more to life than your career. You are a modern woman who doesn´t buy into the puppies and flowers side of life, and you wouldn´t be caught dead saying "I love you", but hey, we are on to you: you care more about others tan you ever let on.

Hagan el quiz en:

sábado, 21 de abril de 2007

Noches de Copas Vol. 1

"Vendo celular Motorola. Mucho uso entre las 2 y las 6 de la mañana. Poco durante el resto del día. Perfectas condiciones. Fotos comprometedoras serán eliminadas antes de hacer el intercambio."

Por qué carajo será que uno se rasca y le da por llamar a quien sea, para lo que sea? A uno, para que te diga dónde seguir la rumba. Al otro porque, después de haberte visto en el espejo y verte con un ojo caído y el rímel á la Mapache (estás rascada pero no ciega), sabes que te va a decir que te ama y te adora y se muere por ti y con lo fea que estás necesitas escucharlo. Al otro pa´decirle que lo quieres, que gracias por ser tu amigo incondicional. Al otro, para decirle que gracias por ser tu amigo incondicional pero que más nunca te llame, ni te escriba ni un coño, porque honestamente no puedes soportar verlo con alguien más, porque te vas a morir si te vuelve a presentar como su mejor amiga o si te vuelve a pedir un sólo consejo sobre como caerle a la fulana de turno. Al otro, porque está chévere y quieres saber dónde está, sólo verlo, aunque no te pare bola, es suficiente. Al otro, porque siempre lo llamas y pues bueno, qué eres tú si no perseverante y seguidora de tradiciones.

Y a uno, uno en específico, porque es al que en verdad quieres oír... te atiende una mujer que te dice: "el saldo de su tarjeta prepagada no es suficiente para realizar esta llamada..." Dios es grande, ¿no?


I had a talk with my ex last week. Pppfff, let me tell you, I’ve never done anything that required more guts. I just felt such anger and rage. As the words came out of my mouth the tears just started flowing. It was so embarrassing to cry in front of him like that, well, not just in front of him … a lot of people stared too.
I told him absolutely everything, I told him everything exactly how I felt it, every single word. I was so angry at him for leaving me, I told him how I would never forgive him for … yeah, well, for leaving me. He left me alone… no one to turn to, no one to love… I just came right up to him and said:
" what do you expect me to do? Hang on to memories for ever? Hang on to memories in order to live? Hang on to memories as a pathetic excuse of life since you are not with me? Why did you have to move on so quickly? I definitively know, I am 100% sure you already moved on to bigger and better things. I mean, don’t they all? But what about me? What about me? What am I going to do every time I come home to an empty house? How am I supposed to live with the fact that I won’t have to put up with your nail-biting, your obsession for neatness and your appalling cooking, even though they drove me fucking insane ? I will never forgive you for leaving, I will never forgive you for not fighting for us hard enough, I will never forgive you for making my life great and then walking away from it, just leaving the greatest gap and emptiness I’ve ever known… I will never forgive you for teaching me a whole new dimension of sad”.

And then I just threw the damn flowers at the headstone, got in my car and drove like hell away from the cemetery, without even considering stepping foot on that creepy place again.

viernes, 20 de abril de 2007

Huyendo de Ti

Huir de ti era más fácil que quedarme, y hacernos la vida miserable.

Era lo más lógico en ese momento, porque, sin que me quede nada por dentro NO TE SOPORTABA. No por mi culpa, sino por la tuya. Entonces, por haber aprendido hace tiempo y por la fuerza que se está en una relación para ser feliz, y tú me hacías desgraciado decidí huir de ti y de quién eras.

Sï, es verdad, antes de que estuviéramos mal estábamos muy bien. Me enamoré de ti como nunca pensé que iba a serposible. Porque eras independiente, porque no me necesitabas y porque nunca pensé que te ibas a convertir en lo que te convertiste ya en el fin de nuestra relación.

Quisera saber cómo alguien pasa de ser un ejemplar perfecto, que se reía; que echaba broma; que usaba muy inteligentemente su sarcasmo para ponerme en mi lugar; que discutía libros, películas y arte conmigo; que era superior a mí en tantas cosas; que me escuchaba cuando lo necesitaba y se hacía escuchar cuando yo me pasaba de la raya; que siempre se reía en la cara de las cosas difíciles o de los que trataban de derrumbarlo; que se hacía respetar ... a ser la patética persona que fuiste por esas últimas semanas : que lloraba todo el tiempo; que era muchó más dark y muchó más twisty; que vivía amargada; que me perseguía y ladillaba 24 horas al día 7 días a la semana; que me necesitaba más que yo a ella; que no toleraba una broma ni jodía como antes; que dejó de ser blanca o negra para convertirse en gris pizarra; que empezó a conformarse; que se quejaba de lo que el mundo le había puesto en su camino .... ¿Cómo carajo hiciste para desenamorarme de la noche a la mañana?

Huir de ti no sólo era lo justo y necesario. Esconderme, no llamarte, no atenderte y escaparme de ti era lo que necesitaba. Sí, no te soportaba y sigo sin soportarte.
Ten un poco de dignidad y olvídate de que existí.

PS: que cagada que está dedicada a quien lo escribió.

viernes, 13 de abril de 2007


Hola a todos.
Nueva bloggera.
Gracias a mi papá y a mi mamá por comprarme una computadora, a todos los que me dejaron algo tan importante que decidí ponerlo en papel (o en bytes) y a Eugenia, la reina de los cachivaches, por darme la valentía para compartir lo cursi y lo no tan cursi con todos.