I haven´t had that many break-ups to begin with, but I just came to realize one of the lessons I learned. Or, at least a lesson my subconscious learned, in any case. Because, like I said, it´s something that I just understood. It was a very Eureka moment except for the fact that I was couch potato-ing the afternoon away and not working towards a moment of revelation as a consequence of time and thoughtful analysis.
After my previous break-up, I did my time in Denial Island. What shook me out of there and chased me away like tear gas was the... hhhm... was when the Claim Percentage was compromised.
After a relationship, most of us walk around with the certainty that that person is ours. Ours to oversee, ours to cry for, ours to bitch about, ours to call drunk at 3:00 AM, ours to forgive, ours to forget, ours to judge, ours to secretly miss at night, ours to pity, ours to make miserable, ours to complain about, ours to even complain to, ours to blame for everything, ours to despise, ours to feel superior to, ours to confuse, ours to… you get the point, don´t you?
The Claim Percentage is a very intangible part of the end of a relationship, up until the moment when it´s shaken under your feet. That is, until you have none. No claim whatsoever over that person´s life and/or decisions. Until you can´t feel or think of that person as yours, because they truly stopped being yours… you just hadn´t realized it yet. When that happens, it´s just time to face the music: He/she never was yours to begin with. Seriously, they never were. Let´s be honest: one thing is feeling they are yours and being comfortable with that lie and another thing is finally coming to terms with the fact that they never were, AKA: facing the truth.
The Claim Percentage is that feeling of ownership and that false sense of possession and tenure to that others person´s life. That is probably what has happened to me my whole life. I stop caring until that person finds someone else to boss him around. I dislike the guy until someone else likes him.
Is it common or am I alone in this? Am I just really spoiled beyond reason? THAT is the question..
Whatever the facts are, they aren´t relevant right now. The simple yet painful truth is, you and I have none. The Claim Percentage equals 0, and that doesn´t happen days after a breakup. It happens the moment the guy or girl walks out a door.